Moving Smoothly From Interaction to Phone Number

This qualifies as a “rule of thumb”, which means there may be some times where this does not apply.

If you’ve gotten to hello and had a good interaction, it is best to set up a date right then and there. This is also one of the few times where having some concrete plan beforehand is a good idea. Suggest dinner, coffee, walk in the park, whatever, and set up a date and time. Asking for her phone number flows naturally, so you can coordinate.

This is a solid idea for several reasons. First, it robs the whole “getting the digits” thing of formality. It makes it easier for her to give you her phone number. Next, if you set a date and time, you can cut down on the irritating problem of getting a girl’s phone number, only to have her never pick up. You probably won’t completely get rid of this problem, but the “flake rate” will start trending down.

This is also a good “leading” behavior, and can communicate decisiveness. You also are seeing how “serious” she is about you, giving her a chance to say no. So on that level it’s also a great time and effort saving device.

An extra word about “fear” since that seems to be the dominant experience holding most men who have trouble dating back. I know that when I first started, actually talking to girls was a big enough step, and I  didn’t usually take it to the next step.

Aquinas makes a distinction between two kinds of fear, a rational fear, the kind of thing that keeps you from walking out into traffic, and irrational fear. Irrational fear is, generally, when you let a fear of a small thing overwhelm your pursuit of a greater thing. This is why we admire courage, if there was nothing to fear it wouldn’t be that laudable.

You don’t have to “feel” brave to “be” brave,

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How to be truthful to your partner

A healthy relationship is built based on trust and also honesty, being honest and truthful to your partner is also another way of giving each other a secure feelings and also trust whenever your partner is not around. So remember to apply these two things in your relationship, never lie and be yourself.

There are some areas that you can start by being honest to each other, now here are some of the areas to explore.

1. Plans and Objectives. Before your relationship becoming more serious, it’s important to see if you both have the same plans for the future. Stable relations were damaged over time because partners have not talked openly about what they want in the future, so if you think seriously talked candidly about what you want.

2. Money. In a period in which the financial aspect is a problem, the subject of money is really essential for a couple. There should be no secrets about the size of your wallet. I know that money is a very sensitive thing to discuss, but I’ve seen many relationships were torn apart because there was no honesty regarding how much you earn, spend, save and all these problems could lead into many kind of arguments even an affair, so you really need to clear things up about this money issue with your partner and no secrets.

3. Sex. They say that sex is not the most important element in a relationship, but that does not mean is not significant. If something goes wrong for any of you, then you need to discuss this with your partner. I know that It is always embarrassing to talk about sex, but if you really love your partner then you’d want her/him to be happy and also save right? Also in a future, if you want to have children then you should talk about any issues regarding your sex life with your partner, don’t be shy and just be opened.

4. Work. Stress at work will follow you home. Even if you try to keep your worries aside a terrible day at work is reflected in the attitude you have when you get home. Should you talk to your lover about the problems they encounter because if you do not, you might like to explode at some point.

5. Bad habits. A small number of bad habits can cause substantial damage to the couple. And you have to tell your lover what bothers you and what ticks may correct them. At the same time, you have to be prepared to hear that you’re not perfect either.

Talk to your lover about the things you expect from him and from your life as a couple. Give him a chance to know you as you are and do not let him create a wrong impression about you, because the truth will come out soon or later.

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Are You In A Love Depression?

Are you in a love depression?  This is where your heart has been broken and you feel low about it.  You may believe that you will never have another romance.  Here’s what to do if you are in a love depression.

First of all, you need to recognize that, however painful, this is a temporary period in your life.  You will get through your love depression.  But, you may need help.

Turn to your friends and family during this tough period in your life.  They will always be there for you.  Don’t be afraid to cry on their shoulders.  One of the ways you will know when you have come out of the love depression is when you yourself are bored with talking about your ex.

But, if your friends and family get tired of hearing about your ex before you are healed, it may behoove you to go into counseling.  A trained therapist can help you work through the break up issues.  By talking to a counselor, you will be able to identify many issues in your life.  Some of these will be about why you and your ex broke up.  Others will help you be a better boyfriend or girlfriend in the future.

Sometimes talk therapy isn’t enough.  When this happens, you need to see a psychiatrist who can put you on anti-depressant medication.  Prozac, Paxil, and other SSRI’s can make a big difference in how you feel about the world.  Don’t be embarrassed to ask for medical help when you need it.
There are other things you can do for yourself when you are in a love depression.  For instance, when you go to the gym to work out, you not only improve your body, you also improve your mood.  Getting your body moving sends chemicals to the brain which elevate your mood.
Pampering yourself can also help you believe that you are a worthwhile person.  Getting a massage can bring a physical relief to your weary body.
Sometimes eating, in moderation, can soothe your soul.  Chocolate, ice cream, and comfort foods all help ease the pain of a break up.  Don’t overdo it and gain too much weight though, because you don’t want to ruin your physique.
Perhaps the best tonic for love depression though, is falling in love with someone new.  Remember that in order to do that, you have to get back in the game.  Don’t believe that you have to be 100 percent ready for a new relationship before you start dating again.  When someone asks you out or strikes your fancy, have coffee with them.  Go to the ballgame with a friend who might be interested in being more.
At some point, you have to get back on the dating scene.  Whether talking to your friends, going into therapy, getting some psychiatric medication, or treating your condition yourself, you need to work out a way to cure your love depression.  The sooner you do, the sooner you’ll feel a lot better.

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